Foremost Introduction

a-hmmm.

Good evening/afternoon/morning/night (delete as applicable to your timezone).

My name is Huffbert McClean, you can call me Huffers.. if you prefer.

I've set myself the task of laying out for you, via the process of this blog, my unique (fairly unique, I guess a lot of you probably do a lot of the stuff I advocate already) system of living- yes, Huffbert Mc's Grand Design for Life!

All of us in the developed world, (and I guess the developing and third worlds- although for the large part they're stuck with their lot) desire to improve upon their life. Thanks to the wonderful meritocratic nature of the society we live in (I am presuming you live in the West- if not best of luck getting here, try marrying old rich desperate men, it really is all that) we can do just that...

.... given the right advice, that is! Seriously that is where I come in. I don't know all the answers, but I will for the duration of this blog, pretend I do. At last just by follwing the advice I will give to you (lucky, lucky people that you are) over the next - erm however long, you CAN live the life you deserve.

Oh god that sounds like self-help bullshit. Right, first of all, this is not SELF-HELP (well it is obviously). Yes, its self-help- but its self-help for the intelligent, educated and well-balanced people who wouldn't normally swallow the vapid easy-answers peddled by the majority of self appointed self-help gurus (I guess Huffbert is one of those, but.. he's a bit different- he's open to criticism and he doesn't peddle easy answers- he doesn't peddle anything this is all for free- but if he did he would peddle hard answers, and unpleasant "home truths" (ooh a cliche- I will try to avoid those too.

Anyway, there will be no bullshit on this site- of the likes of you gotta actualize to realize, self-personify the succesful other-self.. in YOU! None of that here. There will be no -ize words at all (as a Brit I prefer -ise anyway). All advice offered will be concrete and meaningful (full of meaning) I promise no vague appeals to the inner power in you. This is very much self-help for the morbidly cynical. It will be concrete, firm advice, the likes of which my father taught me and would have taught you (had he been your father). In short read this, follow it and you will be able to get on and live a bloody good life- instead of crying because nobody loves you because you're fat and minging. You're not- you gotta believe in yourself- free the real you [STOP]

Here is an overview of the posts to come (in order of priority- the most important to one's life coming first):

PART 1 - The primary pleasures

1. Looking after your animal self - How to stay fully formed, free, healthy and fit.
2. Get yourself a soulmate - you'll need to be well dressed, well groomed, confidant, charming, funny, nice and positive. You'll need to maximise (a bit buzz-wordy sorry) your opportunities to meet her/him. And how do you know if he/she is your soulmate? Find out in time.
3. Get yourself a profession (not a job). You haven't got a clue have you- but you will (if you read the blog.)
4. Attain financial independence (hey I didn't say get rich.. you'll see...)
5. Own your own home. (But don't let it own YOU ((no, no I take that back that is bullshitese and I promised none of that)
and finally
6. Find meaning in life - whether through a family, artistic, political or business venture- we must all strive to find meaning in life, otherwise its all a big shit baguette.

PART 2 - Working towards the primary pleasures (I can't bring myself to use the word goal) by obtaining happiness on a day-to-day basis.
By this stage the posts are probably getting shorter because i'm running out of enthusiasm- like most modern people I don't finish what i start, but bear (bare?) with me they'll pick up again.
There will probably also be some stuff about not harming others or the world while you pursue your own selfish agenda.

PART 3 The secondary pleasures
Not as important as the primary but worth a mention:
Travel
Formal study (as opposed to self study which is ongoing, right?)
Sexual conquest (if you pay it doesn't count)
Sport (only play if your good otherwise its not fun at all)
Passive enjoyments (TV, movies, music, books, PS3)
Thrill-seeking (bungee jumping etc stuff twats do)
Illicit thrills of doing something dangerous or illegal.

and finally...

Friendship.... the only thing you'll remember once your dead.

and then they'll probably be a conclusion or something.

I am also following this course, taking my own medicine, and i'll let you know how its going. Working well so far....

Also this is for all ages, both sexes and all three races.

Well that's about it from me "Huffbert". I sincerely hope you join me next time when the topic of my blog will be:

TAKING CARE OF YOUR ANIMAL SELF- part 1 Staying fully formed.

Thats all for now,

all my love

Huffbert x x x

ps I'm sorry if I have offended anybody. And also sorry if I have made any mistakes in grammar or spelling. If you wish to contact me with thoughts, comments and destructive criticism please do so huffbert@gmail.com